Am. Am not.

I am about to embark on an adventure. Not a new adventure, and at times, not even a fun adventure. I am sure it will alienate me from some people and draw me to others, make me stop doing some things I love and find other things instead. I am beginning the process to lose 60 pounds for what I plan to be the last time in my life.

I've been on a diet ever since I can remember. I have joined Weight Watchers so many times they don't have to give me the welcome packet - I always already have one. I can tell you the calorie count and/or WW point value of pretty much any food out there. I know serving sizes, and I know how many calories 30 minutes of most exercises will burn.

I am NOT a fan of exercise. Never have been. I don't find it fun, I don't get that elusive "high" those crackheads people talk about. I am an expert at finding excuses to avoid it.

I am also a realist - I need to grow up and just do this. It's not a diet, it's got to be the way I eat to improve my life. I am not doing this to look like some airbrushed model in a magazine - that ship has sailed, if it ever wandered into port in the first place. I am doing this because I owe it to myself to not sigh heavily when I look in the mirror. I do not want to lose the ability to walk when I'm older because I never got around to getting the weight off.

It will never be easy and it will never get any easier. I am still able to do pretty much anything I decide to do -- yoga, pilates, walking, even jogging -- but the clock is ticking.

For anyone who subscribed to my blog last year, this is a bit of a switch. There will still be random postings, but I am committing to tracking my steps for myself here. I promise my feelings will not be hurt if you choose to unsubscribe - this is not for everyone. I'll try recipes, new workouts, whatever strikes me. I'll start with Weight Watchers since I know it, but there may be a switch along the way.

If you've been thinking about something similar - 5 pounds, 50 pounds -- feel free to join me. I'd love to know what works for you, what you've tried.

Okay, I am about to push the publish button. I am scared. But I am also scared of NOT doing this. So throwing it into the blogosphere is my accountability. Here goes.


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