Just. Breathe.

Over the last month, I've reread most of my blog postings (I'm hilarious, btw), especially for 2012. That's when I was most successful at weight loss and exercised most consistently. I was reading to try to figure out what I did right, and of course, when it started not working for me. I've debated the pros and cons of Weight Watchers, Paleo, counting calories, workouts, etc.  It's been a while in the making, but tomorrow it begins -- Whole 30. For real. There will be one day off -- our anniversary is in a couple of weeks -- but otherwise, I'm in this until February 25th (31 days, to make up for the day off).  There's a bit of prep involved, even when I know what I'm doing, so I've spent the week trying to figure out menus, plan what's most important for me to do this successfully, and just get my head in the right place.  This weekend has been pretty busy... I don't care what anyone says. Meal planning is not  easy. I feel like I ...

I've been avoiding this blog post like the plague. I know it has to be done. I don't want to do it.  Suck it up, buttercup, and go. It's time to get back to the serious business of health and weight loss.  Two years and two weeks ago (roughly), I made a commitment on this site to finally get to my goal weight. What actually happened was that I lost about half of the total weight I needed to lose, and stalled. For.over.a.year.  On the up side, that means I maintained a 35-pound loss for a year. Yay. I've never done that before, so congratulations to me. On the down side, that means I've not reached that goal weight yet, and the clock is ticking. I'm not getting any younger, and I am going to slay this demon before I die. [Morbid, yes?] I've done a little soul-searching to figure out why my head wants to lose this weight when my body fights with every fiber of its being. I'm not 20 anymore, my life is pretty great -- why does it matter to...

I found a notebook where I'd drawn out some ideas for the blog, made plans for new/different exercise programs, and jotted down recipe ideas, and decided I should get back to it. When I first started blogging last year, I had a goal (weight loss) and used this forum for accountability. I now have another few goals, so let's see if it will work this time. Losing the rest of this weight is of course a goal. I've been stuck here for about a year (some down, some up in the last 12 months, but generally the same place). On the one hand, that tells me that maintenance is something I CAN do -- good to know. OTOH, I don't want to be at THIS weight! I'm working through what that means for me - I don't do well with deprivation, counting calories makes me feel deprived, and this is almost completely about what my brain says. I know that no amount of exercise will make up for a crappy diet - but I'm still struggling with the changes that will stick. A few things I...

I woke up in the mood to write today. It's been a while since I've even wanted to start a new post, and I wouldn't let myself consider why. But, here it is: I've got 7-9 pounds that have come back on since Christmas and they will. not. leave. I don't want to make changes, therefore, I don't want to write about it. If I write about it, I have to admit it out loud, and then I'm committed. When I look back at my weight loss chart, I was this weight back in July. It's like a 9-month maintenance plan, but I don't want to maintain this weight! When I consider what I've done (and not done) in those months, it's somewhat easy to see why I'm not losing, and why, for a long time, I didn't gain. Paleo is not a weight loss method. That's right out there on any reputable Paleo expert's front door. It's clean eating, it's staying away from sugar and unnecessary foods, but it's not designed for weight loss - our ancestors we...

It doesn't take long to fall out of a habit -- as long as it was a good one...which I consider blogging to be. Let's just jump right back in, shall we? The Monday after we got back from our cruise (SIX weeks ago! How did that happen???), I started boot-camp style training with a personal trainer. I haven't worked with Jen in a couple of years, but I knew it was time to shake things up. Jen trains out of her home, and is a Pilates instructor from way back. I always felt good when I was doing Pilates regularly, so that had appeal. She also does weight training, and we talked about a crossfit-style approach (maybe), and setting me up to do other sessions on my own. I made her agree to one very important ground rule once we settled on three times a week: I don't get makeup sessions. In the past, she's been generous if you had to cancel a session. For me, it gave me an excuse (cramps, headache, tired...) and I needed to suck it up. Money talks, and I wasn't going t...

I'm not a big fan of resolutions - new year or otherwise - perhaps because of the pressure the word implies. Last January, however, I made one determination -- to get the weight off for the last time. Let's see how that turned out: I lost 35 pounds. That's a little more than half my goal. I've gone from a size 18/20 to a 12/14. I've lost 6" in my hips and 5" in my waist. My triglycerides dropped from 200 to 40, cholesterol from 220 to 194, HDL up from 25 to 60.  Other goals and accomplishments: I can run a 5K without stopping. My pace on a mile has dropped from around 13 minutes to under 12 minutes. My usual two+ mile runs take about 25 minutes. I've completely changed the way I (and the family) eat. I don't count calories or weigh portions, and I'm always satisfied when I finish a meal. I've experimented with countless new recipes, with only a few "let's not do this again" experiences. I've blogged most...

Happy Thanksgiving! Yeah, I'm late. Sue me. We had a great time off, and went to the bro- and sis-in law's new house. It's lovely, the food was awesome, and the company was great. I stayed mostly Paleo (couple bites of pie) and I lost a pound. Go figure. :-) Now I'm back to my highest total loss, and rather happy about that. Which is the actual point of this post -- I have the best possible incentive to get the next 10 pounds off... We booked our anniversary vacation for February! Whoot! Me, in 9 weeks We finally settled on a cruise. We'd looked at all-inclusives, blah blah, and honestly couldn't decide. Once we started thinking about cruises (we've done that before, and kinda wanted something new), it didn't take us long to remember how much we like them. We are going for a longer period of time, which means a bigger ship, and we're upgrading our room to a mini-suite with balcony! Never done that, so it should feel pretty special. The...

SERIOUSLY stuck -- stuck at this weight, stuck in a routine I won't break to get caught up on blog entries...I am MAKING myself sit here and write (and it still took three days). For a while it was that I didn't think I had anything to say for the moment. Now it's more like I just won't write...lots of topics, enough time to write if I wanted to, pictures to share...blah blah blah. So what shall we talk about today? How about my excellent running week? I actually made it out three times (Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday) for over 2 miles each time. The difference? I've started taking the 140-pound Rottweiler on the runs with me. Something about having him along makes me not walk -- I'll stop to give him water, but that's it. Of course, it's more than a little embarrassing that a "run" for me is barely more than a fast walk for him...until we hit two miles. He hasn't gotten over that mental wall and doesn't believe he can do it. Case in po...

I'm so embarrassed I only had four posts in September! What is wrong with me? Work has been crazy busy, so maybe that's my excuse. I think it's more about not feeling I had anything new to share. People with toddlers are way funnier bloggers. Anyway, today I start again with the weekly weigh ins. Last week was actually the end of my 30-day (abandoned) experiment, but I did manage to (mostly) stay off the scale. Right now, I feel fat -- but that's temporary, I'm sure. Here's the deal. I'm not counting calories or points, so I can't report on how I've done with that. I eat Paleo -- that's either a do or a not-do thing. I need to reset my expectations - for this blog, for what I measure -- because otherwise I'll never have anything to write about. What I have done: Tried some awesome new recipes -- Paleo baked apples, zucchini noodles, salmon patties, bacon-wrapped meatloaves, butternut squash,  and homemade creamer for my coffee, ...

It continues to amaze me how quickly a human can fall out of a habit. When I'm that human, I should enter myself in an Olympic procrastination event. I was doing great with my regular postings on Monday and Tuesday, but then I look at the last few weeks...yeah, yeah, I was out of the country, but I've been back almost two weeks, so no excuses anymore! Anyway, enough whining [maybe]. The update is boring -- I maintained. Given that I'd come back and started eating real food again, perhaps that's not a bad thing. I also haven't been able to get off the couch because the Olympics are on  work out because of my knee, so maybe maintaining isn't awful. It's boring, but it's way better than gaining. _________________________________ On to something more interesting...for me anyway. Before the trip to Haiti, I'd put some thought into what on earth I'd eat while there. We would have some control over breakfast, lunch would be at the jobsite with n...

It's been a couple of weeks since I did a scorecard, and I couldn't figure out what week number I'm on! Here's what's up. For about six weeks, I've been battling the same 2-3 pounds -- I had a goal to lose 30 pounds before the trip on 7/19, and I couldn't get over 26. Back and forth, stuck in the low 170s on a plateau of my own making. So when Tuesday the 17th hit, I had no interest in reporting that once again I'd made no progress. I left for Haiti, and didn't worry about it. Then for a week, I worked harder than I have in a very long time, ate Paleo when possible, and broke the plateau. As of 7/31, I'm down 28.9 pounds, and I'm in the 160s for the first time in about 15 years! Woot! ____________________________________ If you've read any posts this week, you've seen the Haiti trip report. What I didn't talk about in either of those was the physical part of the trip. I had planned how to eat Paleo when I had no contro...

Well, it's another weigh in. Another Tuesday. Another day closer to the mission trip and my 30-pound weight loss goal. And I had pizza last week. Really, really good meat lover's pizza. Thin crust - points for that. I'd like to be annoyed that I seem to have slowed to less than a pound a week, but I really can't be. I have to figure that for every half-pound lost, it's really like a pound: the half I lost, and the half I didn't gain. So it's like I've really lost 52 pounds already! See? Told ya I do math. Seriously, I'm down about a half-pound (.4) this week and I'm okay with that. It's that lovely time of month on top of finally getting to work out again, so I'll take the celebration and move on. And it's already freaking hot in Texas. My total so far is 26.5 pounds. Three and a half to go in three weeks for the next goal. Next week I won't be in such a good mood if it's less than a pound again! Let's do this. ...

Why do Mondays come around so regularly? I much prefer Saturdays, which seem to not come around often enough. Anyway, to the workout recap for this week: Last Monday I recorded my run, and the intent I had to do water aerobics that night. Instead, I got to unexpectedly buy a new washer and dryer because mine decided to blow up Monday afternoon. NOT a fun way to spend money earmarked for other stuff! So, I didn't get the two-a-day I intended. Tuesday -- water aerobics. 50 minutes, reps of 50 or 100 for each movement, plus 5 minutes treading water/running in place for cardio. Arms sore next day! Wednesday - 2.1 mile run in 25 minutes. I didn't drop off quite as much as I do on the 2nd mile. It was already HOT at 7:30 in the morning. Thursday - off day. And in case that wasn't enough, I had pizza. Yes, it was incredibly good. Friday - 1.9 mile run (not sure why I didn't get 2 miles on the Garmin). Started about an hour later and the heat slowed me down. Satur...

Roughly six months down, and somewhere around six months to get to my goal. I looked back at my summary page and realized there was only one week where I've tracked a gain - hooray! A few had no loss at all, but I think that's okay. Given that I can show a 3 pound shift up/down in three days, I think the Tuesday weigh ins are, on average, showing reality. So for today's weigh in, I was down about 1/2 pound (.6) -- I really think my scale only has even numbers on it anymore. Total to date is 26.1 pounds I did get my work outs done this week - I still took it easy and just stayed on the elliptical for the week just to see how I felt. The first day was a little uncomfortable, but the others weren't bad. I'm calling myself back to normal now (or as normal as I get). __________________________________ Yesterday I posted a working tracking set of goals for the next month before our mission trip. I got to run for the first time in a month, and today I can't ...

After almost three weeks of being sick and unable to work out, having no motivation to cook, and just general yuckiness, I'm finally on the mend. An extremely annoying doctor visit reminded me why I don't go to doctors, but at least I got some medicine that helps. I got to work out yesterday for the first time! I could only do 30 minutes on the elliptical but it was a good 430 calories that I needed to burn. If you saw yesterday's post, you know grocery shopping played a big part of my weekend, and this week I'm making lots of new Paleo food and trying new things. And the result? Down two pounds! Sweet! Especially after being stuck for a while. That puts my total at 25.5 pounds total loss. I've got five weeks to lose 4.5 more to hit my 30-pound goal. __________________________________ I was surprised at how scared I was about not working out for three weeks. After not missing many workouts all year, I was convinced this was going to derail me -- it would ...

To keep from dragging this out -- not a good week. Not AWFUL, but not good. No loss (that's bad) but no gain (that's good). I'm so very frustrated that I haven't been able to work out at all for over two weeks now. That scares me more than anything -- since the beginning of the year, I've not gone more than 4 days in a row, usually over a weekend, without a decent workout. Now it's been 15 days and I still don't know when I'll be pain free and able to do something. Walking isn't even an option. I've done a little bit of water aerobics, but not enough to count. Grrrr. My fear is that I'll find it harder to get back in the routine more than it is about whether I can still run as far/long as before this break. I worked so hard to make sure the habit was there, that now I've broken that habit for far longer than is good for me. This was not how I wanted to start the summer. This is the time I could ramp it up, since my schedule frees ...

I'm sensing a pattern. One week, 2 pounds. Next week, less than 1/2 pound. Following week, 2 pounds...and on and on. So guess what this week is? That's right, the little number -- minus point 4. My irritating scale still won't even move to odd numbers. Total so far: 23.5 pounds I actually wasn't feeling well most of last week, AND we were busy 4 out of 5 nights, AND I didn't work out earlier in the day to make up for being gone in the evening (see the "wasn't feeling well" part) so I really can't complain about a low number. ______________________________________ Why do schools have to schedule Every Event We Couldn't Be Bothered To Do Earlier in The Year in the same two week period? I've got a sophomore in high school dealing with after-school choir practices and a concert, finishing two projects in the same weekend, finals (she was thankfully exempt from most of them)...as well as regular life. Life that includes friends having...

I can't believe I've been doing this for 20 weeks. That's like 1/3rd of a year. Yeah, I do math. That's a pretty big deal to me, actually. Twenty solid weeks of paying attention to what I eat, making myself move more, not "cheating" or making bad choices for more than a few hundred calories. On to the countdown... This was a good week. I've stayed on Paleo, but I will admit to sneaking a couple handfuls of cereal, just because it was there. It wasn't as good as I wanted it to be, so I moved on. Only put feta on my salads twice, not because I couldn't do it more, but just because I knew it would still be good without it. And I lost two more pounds. Grand total in 20 weeks: 23.1 pounds. Slightly above average, and that works for me. ________________________ My next measurable goal is to have lost a total of 30 pounds before my mission trip to Haiti in July. That's eight weeks from now, and I think I'll be able to stay on trac...

I had no idea that Mother's Day weekend ranks up there with Thanksgiving in the eating category. Apparently I've been getting gypped all this time. Ate out Friday night with friends, cooked for the mom and aunt on Saturday night, then went out Sunday afternoon for Mom's day. It. Is. Impossible. To. Eat. Out. And. Still. Lose. Weight. There. I said it. We all know it's true. There are not enough workouts in the world to burn the calories you consume with food prepared by someone else. The math just doesn't work. The portion sizes alone will torpedo most healthy eating plans. And the BREAD basket. Just stop it now.... The total week's results weren't awful - no gain - but only losing a part of a pound does NOT fit into my overall goals. I haven't been in this weight range for a while, so I'm not sure my body knows what to do now! Overall total is now 21 pounds. ______________________ In other news, Tuesday was the official end of the Paleo Di...

Finally. Seems like it took forever to get here, but I guess 18 weeks isn't that long in the grand scheme. As of this morning, I'm down 20.9 pounds! That's minus 2.4 pounds this week. Yes, I peed again to see if I could get that .1 -- didn't work. I think my scale likes even numbers better. First goal met! And only a week later than I originally planned. Now on to the next ten pounds, with the July 15th goal date for a total of 30 pounds lost. I downloaded my reward book! __________________________________________ It's getting hot in Texas. In the last couple of weeks, I went for runs at different times - early on Saturday (before 9) has been my favorite so far. The 5pm runs are just not comfortable anymore -- I went on my lunch hour a few times, too. Still too dang hot. Sadly, that means it's time to start planning the early morning runs. Unlike last summer, when I was dying doing the C25K plan, I can be really good in my estimates of how far I ca...