Making plans and changes.

I found a notebook where I'd drawn out some ideas for the blog, made plans for new/different exercise programs, and jotted down recipe ideas, and decided I should get back to it. When I first started blogging last year, I had a goal (weight loss) and used this forum for accountability. I now have another few goals, so let's see if it will work this time.

Losing the rest of this weight is of course a goal. I've been stuck here for about a year (some down, some up in the last 12 months, but generally the same place). On the one hand, that tells me that maintenance is something I CAN do -- good to know. OTOH, I don't want to be at THIS weight! I'm working through what that means for me - I don't do well with deprivation, counting calories makes me feel deprived, and this is almost completely about what my brain says. I know that no amount of exercise will make up for a crappy diet - but I'm still struggling with the changes that will stick. A few things I've tried lately:

• I counted calories for about three days just to see where I was in general. Because I was thinking about it, I stayed between 1100 and 1500. And then I felt ravenous because I was thinking about it. I probably stay around 1600 on most days, unless there's bacon.
• I backed off red meat for a week, not because there's anything wrong with it, but because I tend to eat more of it than anything else. That's probably something I will continue to limit to once a week, although we make some pretty awesome steaks.
• I completely cut out alcohol, as part of a "Whole 10" (would have been a Whole 30, but there are two parties coming up!), but that goes to the deprivation mind set, especially in the summer when floating in the pool is my main form of entertainment. Now I've cut it down to just one glass of wine, and that's only on nights when I've had some form of exercise.
• RDub and I got up at 5:30am to run a couple of miles. In Texas, it's too hot to run after about 8am in the summer. He leaves for work at 6:30, so we gave it a shot. It went fine the first day, but the second day neither one of us had gotten much sleep, so we cut the distance. We're still fine-tuning that whole idea of working out together, at least during the summer.

Anyway, it's been a bit frustrating to realize (again) exactly how much my behavior is driven by what's going on in my head. I apparently resist habits quite vigorously, and spend time coming up with "reasons" for whatever can/can't happen that day. That has to stop, so I'll be working on it in the next few weeks.

Going back to the accountability thing, I'm going to focus on just two changes right now:

• Tracking my exercise and logging some movement five days a week. That won't all be running.
• Blogging at least three days a week. One of those will be a new feature, Tasty Tuesdays, where I'll post some recipe I made during the week. Another will be the various exercises I'm going to try.

Ultimately, the goal is to have the remaining 35 pounds gone before Bug graduates next May. Ideally, I want them gone by Christmas, but I'll give myself some leeway when I see how it goes. I don't plan to go off Paleo, and I really hope I don't have to go back to calorie counting, but I'm open to almost anything.

Okay, I'm hitting publish. That puts this out there. Scary.

Got any new goals you want to share?