Whole30 Days 4+

I've been procrastinating writing this post. Like, I'll clean the entryway light fixtures if it will keep me from blogging.

I bailed on the Whole30.

I'm sort of mad at myself, and then I'm not. I've had 100 conversations with myself about it, both before and after I caved. Monday morning, R-Dub and I went on a long motorcycle ride, and that's some good thinking time (for the passenger). I think it finally boiled down to this for me: The entire summer -- vacations, mission trip, weekends -- I've really not stepped out of Paleo world if I had any control at all. No buns on hamburgers, no bread on sandwich meat, no sugar/dessert. Wine and creamered coffee are pretty much the only exceptions I make to what is "true" Paleo when I can make choices.

Then I throw myself into this Whole30 and I realized I was very close to that completely deprived feeling, where I slip into the "poor me" mentality that has derailed me so many times in the past and caused the weight to come right back on. No middle ground for me.

I cooked some really awesome new food last week, and I don't intend to stop that. Branching out into more Paleo recipes is definitely a goal. I'm still not drinking coffee (or using Splenda, which is the main thing). All the food I cook is 100% Paleo, and it's really good. I'm not suddenly eating pasta or bread. But when we went for a ride on Monday, we were looking for someplace to eat, and the only option open was a BBQ place. I ended up with smoked turkey and a salad -- I'm sure the turkey was seasoned with stuff I wouldn't use, but the alternative was starving. That's not really on my list of things to do.

Grilled salmon, cumin-roasted carrots, and creamy butternut squash

So I'm basically back to doing what has been working for 5 months, with a few tweaks. I'm going to stay off the coffee/creamer/Splenda for the month. I'm not having caffeine withdrawal anymore, so maybe it'll be a special treat sometime. No wine during the week. I'm still deciding if I want to stay off the scale for a few weeks -- not sure on that one yet. And I'll still do the menu planning so we don't resort to having this 3 times a week, even though it's really tasty:

Meatza! Tomato sauce, whatever veggies I had in the fridge, and fresh spinach on a meat crust.
I'm trying not to beat myself up over this. And I may try it in the future, but right now wasn't the best time. Instead, I'm going to stop babying this stupid knee and get back to my workouts.

Anyway, I'm through feeling guilty about it, and moving on. Menu this week is a little scattered, but we're smoking a brisket tomorrow and I'm sure we'll eat on that for a few days.

Am I the only one who feels guilty about stuff like this, when it's totally my decision in the first place?


  1. You are absolutely not the only one to feel guilty about this stuff. It feels like a broken promise and that's hard to accept. BUT there are other implicit promises you've made for yourself by deciding to live a healthier life. If this present challenge created an situation where you could turn your back on many of the other changes you've made, then you own it to yourself to reevaluate.

    That is what I tell myself. And I'm starting to believe it. Plus... I can say from experience, giving up artificial sweeteners alone is a HUGE accomplishment. If that is all that ever comes out of this challenge to yourself, you've succeeded in my opinion.

    1. Thanks, Margot! I'm mostly over the guilt...and it's not like I'm making a batch of cupcakes or anything! I'm really glad coffee was the only artificial sweetener I had to give up - I've been off sodas for almost a year -- or I could see this being a lot harder.

  2. Oh you sweet friend!! You are absolutely not the only one to feel guilty! I am so proud of you for what you have done. You are not reverting back to eating unhealthy, but eating healthy where you don't feel deprived! That's what matters! You are awesome girl! :)) Love you!

    1. Hey sweetie - I'm just irritated because I know eventually I'd have been glad I did it. I just don't think my head was quite ready. Maybe someday! Hugs back!

  3. Don't derail your motivation by feeling guilty over something that's already done. Accept that you enjoyed some good barbeque and start again from where you are at now.

    In any good wellness program you need to build a "relapse plan" into your expectation. Not because you have a negative mindset but because you have a realistic one. Most people relapse and having a set strategy helps prevent the guilt, wasted time (due to the guilt) or worse, giving up (more guilt).

    And always remember to congratulate yourself on getting back on the path and for everyday you stay on it. Find some reward for yourself (I like unsweetened Greek Yogart with Flax Seed, fresh berries and a drizzle of Agave) or a new fitness book/magazine for further inspiration. Whatever works for you.

    Best to you!

    Professional Life and Wellness Coach


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