Just. Breathe.

I am about to embark on an adventure. Not a new adventure, and at times, not even a fun adventure. I am sure it will alienate me from some people and draw me to others, make me stop doing some things I love and find other things instead. I am beginning the process to lose 60 pounds for what I plan to be the last time in my life. I've been on a diet ever since I can remember. I have joined Weight Watchers so many times they don't have to give me the welcome packet - I always already have one. I can tell you the calorie count and/or WW point value of pretty much any food out there. I know serving sizes, and I know how many calories 30 minutes of most exercises will burn. I am NOT a fan of exercise. Never have been. I don't find it fun, I don't get that elusive "high" those crackheads people talk about. I am an expert at finding excuses to avoid it. I am also a realist - I need to grow up and just do this. It's not a diet, it's got to be the ...

It's December. I let the end of November come and go while I considered what I wanted to write. I've felt slightly overtaken by events, but moving on... I'm not nearly as "thoughtfully thankful" as I should be. For every minute I spent writing something specific and of-the-moment here, I spent at least five minutes whining about something that wasn't exactly the way I wanted it to be. And that's probably a conservative estimate. So this post is an attempt to get me out of my own gripey [is that even a word?] head. Maybe by the time I finish writing it I'll have learned something else. I'm thankful for a family that puts up with my need for control, my random (and often hurtful) sarcasm, and my compulsive need to throw parties when we could really just sit here and watch NCIS/Criminal Minds marathons all by ourselves. I'm thankful for an amazing assortment of friends - I've often said that watching the comments on my Facebook page is a...

I'm two weeks behind and I've realized that's just going to have to be okay. I kept trying to force myself into a mood I just didn't feel, and that seemed more wrong (wronger?) than just skipping a few days. I thought about the "fake it til you make it" philosophy -- say I'm thankful for my job, for instance, when I really want to just run away...so that didn't work for me last week. Anyway, I'm jumping back in. November 15th: I'm thankful for massage therapists! Wound tight as a spring and she just kept working on my tension spots. Gotta love people who are trained to seek out and help solve problems we bring on ourselves. November 18th: Today, my pastors get my thanks. We're in the first stages of finding a new worship leader, and our senior pastor has a lot to consider. Our youth pastor is taking on the role for a few weeks until we get someone hired, and it's just a blessing that they are willing to step in during transitions. I...

I'm behind because of being out of town, but I've not been forgetting to be thankful! Well maybe a little bit on a particular day... November 6: Today I'm (determined to be) thankful for the people who run security at the airport. They do a mostly thankless job day in and day out and I'm going to do my best to not only make their job easier today, but to say thank you. [Follow-up: I forgot to take my plastic baggie of liquids out of the carryon bag, so I actually got to chat with one of the security people. She was very nice, and I said thank you!] November 7: I'm thankful for a country of free speech, free elections, and freedom to gather. Today I heard a former president speak about the need for cooperation instead of competition. How awesome that I even had the opportunity to hear him. November 8: Today I'm thankful for entertainment. I met a favorite actor and got to watch a performance that reminded me what extraordinary talent really is -- I take fo...

Continuing the thankfulness project... November 3: Today I'm appreciating colleagues that make me laugh. It's not every day, and it's not every call, but sometimes the giggles just won't stop. I love those days. November 4: I'm thankful for friends who know me and love me anyway. I'm blessed to have spent a weekend recently with a lifelong (40 YEARS!) friend, a relatively new (8 years) friend, and my sister, who I'm so glad to have as a friend. I take my friends for granted way too often. November 5: On what would have been his 79th birthday, I'm thankful for my Daddy. He was an amazing example of a husband, a father, a grandfather, and a Christian. He was taken too soon, but the time he had here was well spent. I hope I can be even half the person he was.

It's the month of remembering to be thankful. I don't know why it requires a specific day or meal to remind me, but somehow I slip into that "poor me, it's all awful" mindset. So this month I'll use this space to specifically be thankful. And maybe it'll make enough of an impact that I will remember to do it more often. November 1: I'm thankful for faith. Faith that the light at the end of the tunnel isn't a train. Faith that seemingly insurmountable obstacles are really just speed bumps. Faith that when I'm ready to completely give up, someone or something will cross my path with exactly what I need to hear. November 2: I'm thankful for my husband. I typed that, and then let it sit for about three hours. How do make a list of things for this one? He can fix almost anything mechanical. He puts up with my impatience. He loves our daughter. He makes me laugh. He tries not to make me cry. He tries not to let anyone else make me cry. Throug...

I have a confession. I have issues with knowing my own limits. The whole idea that I HAVE limits annoys me, so I just push forward. I say things like, "But I want to!" as a reason for taking on 68 things at the same time. Sometimes it works out, sometimes not. I also love fall. [I love it more when it's not 97 degrees outside, but that's a different topic.] The colors, the air, the food, the clothes -- other than Christmas, it's the one season I actually change the decor of my house. When fall hits, I get inspired to take on projects of all types, and usually all at the same time. This past weekend, I was in the mood to bake something, so I promised the kid cupcakes (Project#1).  Snickerdoodle cupcakes!  I knew I wanted to get the dining room table decorated for fall (P#2)...  Not quite finished yet  but then I noticed how bad the chair fabric looked after 8 years. So let's recover the dining chairs (P#3)! Eight chairs in one day! An...